Posts Tagged ‘sexual abuse’
Why I’ll Never Return To That Negative Self-Talk State Of Mind
*Trigger warning: substance abuse, sexual abuse. Today I live my life in the present with courage, purpose, and confidence in who I am, what I want, and why I want it. I am the Sunrise Warrior and my struggle is my strength. But it wasn’t always this way. It took work to get here. Not…
Read MoreI Know the Story I Want To Tell, But Which One Will He Hear?
I have something I am ready to share with someone I value in my life. I have a story of mentorship, hope, and appreciation I want to tell. But is that what he will hear? How do I craft my message? This post is about sorting shit out in my brain. I seem to do…
Read MoreIt Was Not One Fading Bad Dream. It Was So Much More
*Trigger Warning* Fading Memories Thirty-seven years ago, I began building walls around the memories of my child abuse to compartmentalize a traumatic and embarrassing time in my life. I was molested for seven long years, and I was ready to turn the page. My abuser saw the opportunity with me when my dad died. I…
Read MoreMy Second Battle With My Monster. This One Is For My Freedom!
How do you start a story about a truly sensitive subject, a subject that traditionally lives in layers and layers of secrecy? This is the question I’ve been asking myself as I journeyed to reassemble the pieces of the past that I buried years ago to process, grieve, and fuel my actions in a positive…
Read MoreCommunities Build Strength And Are Built One Person At A Time
Developing a community around my dark past was my first step towards healing from the deep wounds of child molestation. Every time I share my story with a person in my life, I heal a little more. I get stronger and more confident. I like to refer to this as getting comfortable in my own…
Read MoreWhat’s A Best Friend Look Like? Don’t Mind That Monster Behind The Curtain
*Trigger warning: non-explicit mention of grooming and childhood sexual abuse. Losing My Dad My father spent the last month and a half of his life in the hospital before he died in the late 1970s. I was a six-year-old boy at the time. I wasn’t sure why he was sick in the hospital but later…
Read MoreI Love Roller Coasters! The Tale Of Three Experiences
Who Doesn’t Like Roller Coasters? My sunrise is much bigger than gaining control of my physical health. It’s about living with a healthy mind, body, and spirit. It has become woven into the inner fabric of my life. When my oldest child was born fourteen years ago, I became the fun parent. The one who…
Read MoreThe Man Who Scares Me Most Is Me. Will I Become A Monster, Too?
Nightmares of my Monster and Triggers Here is the fear that haunted me for so many years of my life…Will I one day become a pedophile like the monster who molested me? There is a popular myth that most pedophiles are victims of child molestation themselves. Did my molestation predispose me to this life sentence?…
Read MoreGoodbye Mom. I’m Glad We Finally Met After All These Years!
My Big Decision – Telling My Mom Ten months ago: I’m on my way to work and I have a strong urge to drive to the cemetery and visit my mom. I have this undeniable feeling that my mother is trying to send me a message from beyond. I felt a similar urge to visit…
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