“When people feel unsafe in their bodies, they turn to external regulation—food, alcohol, drugs, or compulsive behaviors to manage their internal state.” — Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score For years, that was me. I abused food. I abused alcohol. I even abused drugs as a teenager. I ran myself into the…
I’d like to share my journal entry from two years ago… Sharing My Freedom Yesterday was a tough day for my wife and me. As I continue to heal and grow stronger, I can feel myself growing obsessed with helping others do the same. It’s like I successfully broke out of a prisoner of war…
Below are revelations I’ve had over my years living as a victim of seven years of child molestation. These revelations represent the evolution of my mind as I seek to find answers to complex questions. The words here represent a metamorphosis from a confused and powerless victim to a strong Sunrise Warrior! *Trigger Warning: sexual…
*Trigger warning: substance abuse, sexual abuse. Today I live my life in the present with courage, purpose, and confidence in who I am, what I want, and why I want it. I am the Sunrise Warrior and my struggle is my strength. But it wasn’t always this way. It took work to get here. Not…
I have something I am ready to share with someone I value in my life. I have a story of mentorship, hope, and appreciation I want to tell. But is that what he will hear? How do I craft my message? This post is about sorting shit out in my brain. I seem to do…
*Trigger Warning* Fading Memories Thirty-seven years ago, I began building walls around the memories of my child abuse to compartmentalize a traumatic and embarrassing time in my life. I was molested for seven long years, and I was ready to turn the page. My abuser saw the opportunity with me when my dad died. I…
Two of my kids were competing in a swim meet recently at our township pool. It was a great event and I had fun watching all the kids compete. My two swimmers, who aren’t the strongest swimmers on the team, did well and improved on their personal bests in five of their six races. Setting…
My Friends I was recently at the beach with a group of buddies I’ve been friends with for thirty-five years. They are a good group of friends and we have been doing this guy’s weekend for twenty-eight years. Over those years, we’ve shared a lot together…. graduations, jobs, marriages, promotions, career changes, kids, divorces, and…
How do you start a story about a truly sensitive subject, a subject that traditionally lives in layers and layers of secrecy? This is the question I’ve been asking myself as I journeyed to reassemble the pieces of the past that I buried years ago to process, grieve, and fuel my actions in a positive…
Early Loss I find myself thinking about my dad often lately. He’s been dead for forty-four years, but it’s like he has been sitting next to me these last couple of years. I was six and my little brother was one when my dad died. My mother was a stay-at-home mom when he passed, but…